Why Justin Bieber’s Yummy leaves a sour taste in my mouth.

In the words of Beethoven himself “Music is a higher revelation than all Wisdom & Philosophy”, and for shits and giggles Justin Bieber decided to say fuck that and give birth to to his newly released song Yummy.

I’m not completely sure whether the build up to the release of the track or the song itself is more gross. In Justin’s eyes naked babies + weird captions = profit, though considering the desperation in his posts, begging his young impressionable fans for streams and downloads he may be questioning his own methods. If you have to grovel for your

own fans to like and stream your song when you’re as big as Bieber, maybe, just maybe, your song is shit. Everyday he would post another picture of child with the caption #yummy. Day 1 of his PR scheme everyone thought his wife was pregnant and began to congratulate him, but after day 10 his audience were more than confused and the FBI were likely monitoring his browser. It came off as a bit… noncey. Though it did get people talking and his song to number 1 on the UK charts, so maybe I should leave the PR to the professionals who know what they are doing.

However, the popularity of the song is more than likely due to his persistent begging on instagram for people to “listen to the song on a low volume when sleeping”. Insinuating that he doesn’t even care if you like or listen to his song, and that his priority is money rather than music. Which isn’t a good look for a musician for obvious reasons. Showing that he himself knew the song was sub par yet still released it because he knew his tween disciples see him as a GOD and will obey his every word, because you know… they’re children.

I can tell you one thing, the tracks chart number definitely wasn’t due to the deep love song. With such insightful lyrics as “girl you got that yummy yum that yummy yum that yummy yummy”, which is on the same level as the deeply impressive “Gucci Gang”. Though props to you Justin, you wrote a song about how much you love your wife and how yummy you think she is. But I have a small piece of advice for you, in the future don’t post children in that context. Especially when most are half or fully naked, because it makes me #worry about your criminal record. But thank you, you’ve finally given me the push I need to start my diet.